Do something that scares you

I’m very proud of my little lady.  We went to the pool yesterday and she did something that really really scared her: She jumped off the edge of the pool into my waiting arms.  I saw the fear in her eyes…  She stood there, nervous, scared, contemplating.  She told me that she was scared that she was going to “fall and bump her head”.  We tried a few trial jumps where I would hold her hand and she would jump in.  But the scary part was jumping with out my hands to hold her.  She had a nervous laughter, looked at me, looked at the water, frowned, laughed again, furled her little brows and gathered little drops of courage only to refrain from jumping.  After a few moments of encouraging her, telling her that daddy was going to be there for her, she jumped.  And it was so great to see her trust me, to see her believe in herself.. and do something that scared her…

May you always trust that daddy is here for you my love.  And may you never hold back on doing something because you are afraid.  You are brave and can do anything.  Daddy is proud of you.  The world is yours to conquer. 

When I’m afraid, I will trust in you.  In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. 

-Psalm 56:3

Great Night!


I just felt my son for the first time. As I was laying in bed, Monica asked for my hand and placed it on her belly. And after a short silent moment, I felt him.. His “first” kick or perhaps his first attempt to reach out to me and hold my hand…

What will the stork be delivering?

Special Delivery...

Ok people, you all were right last time you were asked to vote.. .  I again want to know what you all think.  Will the Downs clan have a boy to level the playing field and bring balance to the house? Or will the ladies continue to rule the house…  enforcing tea parties before bedtime, princess themes in (what was supposed to be) daddy’s mancave, and cute/adorable ballerina Tutus as the must have fashion accessory?  Although I LOVE the endless hugs and kisses from my sweet lady Seanna, I would like to have a boy to fight the good fight with me when the ladies want to do girly things.

Oh man… this is scary.  I’ll admit it, I’m scared all over again.  I can’t imagine two girls.. I don’t know how I am going to do it.  I’ll be outnumbered…  3-1.

*Insert Drum Roll*

Now Vote!

Will the clan be having a Boy or another Girl?

  • Boy! (58%, 18 Votes)
  • Girl! (42%, 13 Votes)

Total Voters: 31

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Note:  Voting will end on 5/21 at 3PM EST.

LIVE FEED from Dr.’s office will be posted here on 5/21 at 3PM as we discover the sex.  So stay tuned!


UPDATE: As everyone already know, IT’S A BOY!!!  I gotta admit, I was sweating bullets.  I’m super excited!

The stork has been given notice..

“Between you and me a new door opened
and someone, still faceless,
was waiting for us there.” -Neruda

“Entre tú y yo se abrió una nueva puerta
y alguien, sin rostro aún,
allí nos esperaba.” – Neruda

And so it is..
It has happened again.
Her and I.
We have linked each other’s souls.
Hand in hand, we have escaped to that secret place that we have visited once before
where entwined, with tenderness — with fury,
reached out to touch the core of our love,
and touched the tree of life with our bare hands. Continue reading

Dear Mama

Something I wrote many months ago, but never posted.. Don't know why..

The other night I was thinking of Seanna as a grown up. What will she be like? Will she be as attached to daddy as I hope for her to be? Will I be her best friend? Will she call me when she goes off to college? Will she remember me, my words, and my love for her? Those thoughts led me to reflect on my own person as a son to my mother. Do I do those things? Am I a good son? Am I what my mother wanted for me?

Some nights ago, my beloved old lady came to visit us. It had been long since she had seen us because she was abroad, in another continent 3000 miles away doing what she has always done since she was 15: fighting for her family. That night, I had one of those life changing moments where the deep roots of the heart tremble and the soul removes the vines that conceal the wall of memories. That night, as I put my little lady to sleep, in the darkness stood my old lady watching in silence as I hummed a song that she herself used to hum to me when I was a child. She stood there holding one hand to her heart and the other covering her face. She stood there weeping softly, watching her grown son be a father. And she whispered that she used to hum me that song. And as I saw her silhouette, I had that sudden feeling of discovery, of uncovering something profound within, and it came to me, the realization that all of my mom’s hard work had paid off. All the many times I had seen her cry because of the wounds of life, all the times she would come home dragging the anchor of sleeplessness from working two jobs, had beared fruit — There she was standing at the foot of my daughter’s bed as she was falling into sleep, holding on to her little teddy bear with one hand and my hand with her other, comfortable, under warm blankets, at peace.  And I stayed quiet as looked back at my child.  And I realized that my mother had paid the price for me to put my child to sleep with a belly full of milk, a safe environment, her favorite dolls at her side and with a certain future full of opportunities awaiting her.  If it wasn’t because my mother decided to leave the little wooden shack from our native Nicaragua and venture into the unknown while risking it all, I would not be here, with this little piece of my heart and soul sleeping in pure bliss.  No, I would probably be in Nicaragua still.  And who knows in what shape.

I do not know why I didn’t share with her my thoughts or thank her with all the sincerity of my heart.  Instead I stayed quiet, in my thoughts.  There is so much now that I understand.  Now that I have become a father.  Now that I have purpose outside of my own selfishness.  And I thank you mom.  I thank you my dear sweet old lady (for the record, she’s really not old).

Know that the times we have butted heads have been only because you raised a child like yourself — a person who stands up for what he believes in and fights for what is his to gain.  You have always been a fighter.  You still are.  And I still watch you.